What is the date you began writing this memoir and the date when you completed the memoir? I began writing Rare Bird in late October 2012 and completed it in September 2013. It was published by Convergent Books, a division of Random House in September 2014.
Where did you do most of your writing for this memoir? And please describe in detail. I divided my time between my cozy home office and a busy Panera restaurant one town over from my own. At home I could spread out pages on the floor to get a physical feel for how the chapters might fit together. At home, however, I felt easily distracted which made Panera a good option. I chose one town over so I wouldn’t bump into people I knew and get off track.
What were your writing habits while writing this memoir- did you drink something as you wrote, listen to music, write in pen and paper, directly on laptop; specific time of day? I wrote while my daughter was in school on days I had off from my part-time job. I’m not a morning person, so the idea of writing before the sun came up seemed impossible. I kept a steady flow of hot black tea handy. At home I needed silence, and at Panera I needed the buzz of people around me. Music was an unwanted distraction. Each day my productivity would kick in right when it was time to pick my daughter up from school and I’d find myself rushing out the door hoping that the 20 minute drive would miraculously be 16 instead. Ideally, I’d prefer to write from 2pm-9pm, which I did a few times when I could be alone in the house, but that didn’t really work with my family’s schedule.
What is Rare Bird about?
What is Anne’s favorite memory of son Jack?
Out of all the specific memories you write about in this memoir, which ONE MEMORY was the most emotional for you to write about? And can you share that specific excerpt with us here. The excerpt can be as short or as long as you prefer, and please provide page numbers as reference. The most emotional memory for me to write about was my 12 year old son’s death, after he fell into a neighborhood creek. I sent two kids out to play in the rain, and only one came home.
I wrote the memoir when it was still a raw wound, not after years of healing and reflection. This has been its greatest gift to grieving people because they find it real and relatable. Generous friends loaned me their big, empty farmhouse on 80 acres one snowy weekend to write. I tackled the toughest scene first, sitting on the couch with my laptop, drinking tea, and crying. Here is one small part of the scene:
Rare Bird pages 37-39. Copyright Convergent Books, 2014
Can you describe the emotional process of writing about this ONE MEMORY? My experience is my own, and I realize others who were there that day will remember things in their own way. The images were seared into my memory because that moment divided my life into a stark before and after. I went to a blog post I’d written right after the accident and I fleshed it out a bit more. Now, so many years later, my memory of that scene is hazy. I haven’t re-read this scene in a long time, and I wonder if it will still seem true or whether time will have morphed it in my recollection as my grief has softened.
Were there any deletions from this excerpt that you can share with us? After writing about the accident specifically, I wrote about my anger regarding the actions of certain people that day. It was cathartic to get out words that felt like they couldn’t even be spoken aloud. However, I knew deep down that they were not “the book.” I think anger has a legitimate place in writing, and most certainly in grief, but I felt so clearly guided internally about what the book would be and what it would not be that it was easy to discern what to leave out. I knew Rare Bird would not be an angry book about settling scores or calling people out. That clear trust and realization helped me to leave those words behind on the floor, written solely for me.
Anna Whiston-Donaldson also wrote the child’s version of her memoir titled A HUG FROM HEAVEN.
Anna Whiston-Donaldson a full-time writer and speaker. Her work has been featured in Woman’s Day, Ladies Home Journal, The Washington Post, the Daily Beast, Huffington Post, Today’s Parents and more.
Speaking to groups and connecting women to each other are two of Anna’s passions.
Anna writes about life with truth and humor, whether she is chronicling her inner monologue during an eyebrow threading session, or pondering faith, parenting, and loss.
https://www.facebook.com/aninchofgray
Anna began writing the blog An Inch of Gray in 2008 to share funny stories of life and motherhood and to find an online community. After the sudden death of her 12-year-old son Jack in 2011, Anna chronicled her grief journey in real time for her readers in order to reveal what grief is really like and to find healing for herself.
Her memoir, New York Times Bestseller Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love was published by Convergent Books, a division of Penguin-Random House. Since its release, Rare Bird has brought comfort and healing to many hurting families as well as helped those who walk beside them know how to be there.
http://annawhistondonaldson.com/book/rare-bird/
Anna loves connecting women to one another and helping make sense, in her own way, of this beautiful, hard, grace-filled life.
Anna now writes full time, featured in major print media outlets and online. Anna, her husband, Tim, daughter, Margaret, and young son Andrew live outside of Washington, DC.
