What is the date you began writing this memoir and the date when you completed the memoir? I began writing in January 2018 and completed the book in July 2021.
Where did you do most of your writing for this memoir? And please describe in detail. January through April, I winter in Florida and did most of my writing while sitting on my outdoor lanai sofa. Shaded with a view overlooking my pool and neighborhood pond, this space offered the benefits of being outdoors and enjoying the warm, sunny days at my winter retreat while doing my work. In the fresh air, with swaying palm trees, blue skies, and ibis and great blue herons gracefully gliding to the edges of the pond, I spent hours each week writing.
May through December are spent in Pennsylvania. There the couch in my family room was the go-to place to compose more chapters and sift through the material I needed to add to the manuscript. Large cathedral windows allowed abundant light to flood the room and rekindled my spirit when writing hard, emotional scenes. Leaning back against the side armrest with my legs comfortably positioned across the cushioned sofa, I would lose myself in my writing.
What were your writing habits while writing this memoir- did you drink something as you wrote, listen to music, write in pen and paper, directly on laptop; specific time of day? I wrote directly on my laptop while comfortably sitting, or I should say semi-reclined, on my sofa. It was common for me to have a cup of hot tea in the afternoon, which offered the perfect time to dive into my work. For some chapters, a box of tissues was close at hand as my emotions ran high and tears flowed freely.
Out of all the specific memories you write about in this memoir, which ONE MEMORY was the most emotional for you to write about? And can you share that specific excerpt with us here. The excerpt can be as short or as long as you prefer, and please provide page numbers or Chapter number as references. In Chapter one on pages eight and nine, I describe seeing my daughter, Jennifer, in the hospital emergency room after her car accident. I have been told she was in a deep coma having suffered a traumatic brain injury.
When I began writing my story, it was seventeen years since that fateful day in 1991. Up until I started writing my memoir, I had successfully blocked that painful memory out of my consciousness, never allowing myself to revisit that scene in my mind’s eye. Anytime my thoughts drifted into that forbidden territory, I quickly and purposely turned my thinking in another direction. I didn’t want to relive the details or face the reality of the consequences that came from the accident, forever changing my life and that of my daughter.
The following is an excerpt from that scene:
I’d never witnessed a person in critical condition, so I was unprepared for the sight awaiting me as I entered Jenn’s room. Machines monitored her heart rate and pulse. Tubes were hanging from various parts of her body. My beautiful daughter’s face was severely bruised, and her flawless skin was swollen. Her cascading blonde hair was matted with blood, and there was a nasty cut on one of her eyebrows above her closed eyes. Blood seeped through bandages on her right hand. Her breathing was shallow, and the only movement I could see was the slight rise and fall of her chest beneath her gown.
That was too much for me to take in. I moved forward in slow motion, each step affirming the reality of this terrible trauma. The only sound I heard was the beeping of monitors. In my mind, the ten steps it took to be by Jenn’s side stretched into a long corridor of void as I approached her bedside.
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BOTTOM: Barbara and Jen in February of 2005.
Copyright by Barbara Rubin.
Can you describe the emotional process of writing about this ONE MEMORY? I had to brace myself to write that scene. I knew it was going to be hard to think back to that emergency room, describing what I was seeing and feeling at the time, but I also recognized that I had to bring the reader along on my emotional journey for them to appreciate the story. I had written many of the other parts of the book before I was ready to tackle that section in the manuscript.
Finally, a day came when I was going to be home alone for many hours, giving me the free time to face my challenge of thinking back to July 1, 1991, allowing myself to reimagine walking into the hospital room, reliving all my feelings, once again sensing all the visuals and sounds as I stepped up to Jenn’s bedside.
Alone, I sobbed as I wrote, consuming half a box of tissues in the process. Once the scene was done, I felt a great sense of relief knowing I had poured all my emotions into the words. I was drained and done for the day. It took a few days to rebound from the experience, but with that part behind me, I was ready to continue writing other sections of the book.
Were there any deletions from this excerpt that you can share with us? No, the excerpt had no deletions or revisions. There were a few edits, but they were minor, not changing the context of the scene.
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