What is the title of your memoir? Welcome to the Land of Enchantment: A Short Memoir of a Young Marriage. It’s about my first marriage beginning at age twenty and is a prequel to God, the Devil, and Divorce.
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What is the date you began writing this memoir and the date when you completed the memoir? I began and finished it in a couple of months in 2016. In 2019 I self-published it as a Kindle eBook.
Where did you do most of your writing for this memoir? And please describe in detail. I know many writers like to have a dedicated room in which to write, but I’ve always have had my office open to the kitchen. I love to cook, so that makes it easy to transition from writing to cooking and back again. My husband is good about not disturbing me when I give him “the look.” My current office space has windows looking out into the back yard where I catch a glimpse of the birds and squirrels that visit. It’s also close to my vegetable garden, so when I need a break during nice weather, I stroll out there and check on what’s currently growing.
What were your writing habits while writing this memoir- did you drink something as you wrote, listen to music, write in pen and paper, directly on laptop; specific time of day? I love writing on my desktop computer. I find it so easy to move words and phrases around. I’m very “crafty,” and the process feels as if I’m shaping my story. I don’t set a specific time to write. I don’t need to because writing is an obsession of mine. I write whenever I can, often right after breakfast when I’m still in my bathrobe. When I get stuck, I go for my Java Monster or a chocolate bar!
Out of all the specific memories you write about in this memoir, which ONE MEMORY was the most emotional for you to write about? And can you share that specific excerpt with us here. The excerpt can be as short or as long as you prefer, and please provide page numbers or Chapter number as references.
I had my house and my dog. The logical next step, biological children. Remembering Rex’s early declaration that he wanted three kids, I told him I thought it was time to start trying. But he’d changed his mind. He didn’t want kids—ever. He couldn’t be serious! Our plan included children.
“I’m going off the pill,” I told him. But he maintained his decision and decided to get a vasectomy. The doctor refused to perform it without my permission. I would never give him that.
“It doesn’t matter,” he declared. “I don’t want children, and I don’t want to be married anymore.
Sick to my core, I begged and cajoled and threw fits, crying my heart out. Immune to my efforts, he countered by arguing we’d married too young and he hadn’t enjoyed the Playboy experience he so admired. Finally convinced our marriage was over, I agreed to go along with a do-it-yourself divorce. Soon after, he got the vasectomy and moved out of town. In the space of two months, our marriage dissolved and I became a single adult.
How could he leave me?! I contemplated suicide, but rejected it, not for religious reasons, but because of my little dog Yum Yum; I couldn’t abandon her. I railed at God for allowing me to suffer so profoundly. I told the Lord God Almighty I didn’t need Him, and furthermore, I doubted His existence. I would give up trying to please God and my parents. I would conduct my life as I pleased. (pp8-9)
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Can you describe the emotional process of writing about this ONE MEMORY? That time in my life was so long ago that it didn’t bring up any strong emotions when I wrote it. But I vividly remember curling up on the floor and sobbing when my husband told me he wanted a divorce. I feel pity for the girl I was then, not knowing at the time that God had me, and I was going to be all right.
Were there any deletions from this excerpt that you can share with us? No, but the reader may like to know that Rex and I have been friends for a long time now even though we live far apart. I find it nice that someone still remembers the girl I once was.
Linda M Kurth: My memoir, “GOD, THE DEVIL, AND DIVORCE: A Transformative Journey out of Emotional and Spiritual Abuse” is my most recent work. “Deciding to divorce her crazymaking husband is the most difficult decision Linda has ever had to make. Condemnation from conservative Christian acquaintances piles on the heartbreak. In her pain and confusion, she turns to God, trusting in Him. He delivers in ways she could not have imagined.”
I write memoir, romance, and non-fiction for adults. For children, I write fantasy and non-fiction.
HOME OF THE HEART, a clean romance novel, is based on my years as an interior designer.
Look for my “Quick Reads” on life and love here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=linda+m.+kurth&i=stripbooks&ref=nb_sb_noss
My husband and I live in Washington’s beautiful Skagit Valley. When I’m not at my computer writing, I can usually be found working in the yard and garden and enjoying our big trees and wild birds. You can read more about me at www.LindaMKurth.com .I write regularly for my blog, “Help and Healing for Divorced Christians” https://www.lindamkurth.com/divorce-healing-blog .